


spinning top (before the storm)

by zayndotcom



Category: GOT7
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dimension Travel, M/M, bambams leader and 94 line, jaebum is 97 line
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19117330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayndotcom/pseuds/zayndotcom
Summary: “bambam-hyung’s gonna kill you when he sees you in your pajamas, jaebummie,” yugyeom laughs, noticing jaebum standing at the end of the hallway now, reaching down to throw a pair of sneakers at him, “you know how seriously hyung takes the image of the group.”jaebum stares at him.bambam-hyung.scratch the dream concept, this has to be a nightmare.or in which jaebum wakes up in a universe where he's shares the title of maknae with yugyeom and bambam is now the leader of got7. he deals with this information accordingly. with fear in his heart and tears in his eyes





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> oof hello heres a fic concept thats been plaguing my mind for a while now and after watching got7 holding elections for a new leader on idol room have finally felt inspired enough to create jkghfkdj i dont think this fic will be That long, maybe 5 or so chapters at most. 
> 
> as always thank you to yasmin who listens to me whine about these headcanons until i finally create something with them, i love you 
> 
> title from 1°- truly a masterpiece of a song and ironically fits the theme of this fic pretty well hell yeah thanks yugyeom jkdfh

the car is rowdy, even with just him, jinyoung, bambam and yugyeom in it, but the youngest two have enough energy between the both of them to fill up a stadium, even after a full day's worth of recording behind them. the idol room recording had been both fun and soul-destroying, but jaebum generally expects nothing less from that show.

 

jaebum sees jinyoung shift out of the corner of his eye, scrolling through his phone and looking completely unbothered by the way the maknaes are obnoxiously blasting their music through a speaker right at his ear. probably too used to this behaviour for it to even phase him anymore, jaebum can relate. 

 

sensing jaebum’s eyes on him jinyoung looks up, giving him a smile and jaebum smiles back. 

 

“what did you think of the recording today, hyung?” jinyoung asks, locking his phone. 

 

jaebum scratches his chin, only wincing slightly as bambam begins to screech along with the lyrics, “it was fun, but i can’t wait to go to sleep.” 

 

“fun? even though you nearly lost your position as leader to one of the maknaes?” jinyoung teases, eyes flickering over to the mentioned youngests, who are violently dancing in their seats. 

 

jaebum laughs, rolling his head back to stare at the roof of the car “i knew i was gonna win, even with bambam’s bribery. we wouldn’t last two days under bambam-ah’s leadership.” 

 

jaebum cringes at the thought of what bambam would be like as a leader, even if it was only for two weeks. he’s sure it would end in both flames and tears, on everyone’s part. he’s confident enough in his own members that they would be able to see this outcome too and anyone who voted for bambam was probably just playing it up for the cameras. 

 

jinyoung hums, eyes flashing, “i don’t know, it came pretty close, hyung. maybe bambam could make a pretty decent leader.”

 

“what? you trying to replace me now, jinyoung-ah,” jaebum grins, cocky. 

 

the cars slowing down, they must be approaching jinyoung’s apartment block because he’s picking his hat and mask up. 

 

“never,” jinyoung winks, pulling his hat on and climbing out of the car, leaving jaebum alone to the sounds of yugyeom and bambam screaming along to their speaker in the back seat. 

  
  
  
  
  


jaebum wakes up slowly, for once. he shifts around on the sheets, remembering to be mindful to not bump into any of the cats and is left confused when he can’t feel the weight of any of them on the bed. it's not unusual for some of the cats to wander off in the morning, but there’s always at least one left on the bed to paw at jaebum’s face when he wakes up. 

 

his eyes squint open and the first thing he realises is that he’s not in his room, which would explain the lack of cats but doesn’t really give him any answers as to where he is. his first thought is that he was too tired after the recording yesterday and went to one of the other members’ houses, but that can’t be right be he  _ remembers  _ going back to his own house. plus, he doesn’t recognise this place at all, so it can’t be another member's apartment. 

 

before he can get worked up about it the door at the end of the room cracks open and yugyeom’s head pops through. the relief of seeing a familiar face hits jaebum before he left again in confusion because why is yugyeom here? 

 

“jaebum-ah, hurry up, the car’s gonna be here soon. mark-hyung’s left toast out for you but he’s gonna eat it if you don't hurry up,” is all yugyeom says before his head disappears again and the door shuts behind him. 

 

jaebum gulps, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. he feels somewhat like he’s dreaming, it would explain the surreal circumstances anyway because  _ jaebum-ah _ ? yugyeom came into this room, made no comment about the fact that this is definitely not his own, jaebum’s or any of the members homes, spoke to him informally with the sort of casual-ness that only same age friends have- while still referring to mark as ‘hyung’? he takes a deep breath. has to be a dream. he can’t think of any other explanation other than ‘dream’, or maybe some elaborate prank? 

 

either way, he’s not gonna get any answers by lying around in bed so he swings his feet out of the covers, shoves his feet into slippers and heads out of the strange room. 

  
  
  
  


mark’s waiting for him in the kitchen just as yugyeom said he would be, and he looks up when jaebum enters, a slice of toast hanging from his mouth. “jaebum-ah, why aren’t you dressed? we’re leaving in like five minutes. i thought yugyeom woke you up?” 

 

so mark also doesn’t seem to be concerned with the fact that they’re in a random apartment they’ve never seen before. it also seems like jaebum spent more time that he thought lying in bed and having a sort of crisis over this entire situation. he takes a deep breath, dream this is a dream. 

 

mark is pulling a protein bar out of a cupboard, seemingly comfortable in this strange kitchen that jaebum’s never seen before. he chews the toast and swallows, “whatever, just take this with you, i might have eaten your toast but it’s your fault for taking too long. you don’t have time to get dressed, just go put on a jacket. the cars gonna be here any minute.” 

 

he hands over the bar, ruffling jaebum’s hair as he walks out of the kitchen. jaebum, strangely, feels like he’s just been babied. by mark. another deep breath,  _ a dream _ . 

 

“yugyeom-ah, hurry up.” 

 

jaebum stares at the protein bar, and wonders idly if maybe it holds any answers for him. it doesn’t. 

 

he follows the sound of voices, and is led to a hallway where yugyeom is shoving his feet into shoes and mark is pulling a beanie over his hair. it’s black, jaebum notices, when yesterday it had been a white-blonde. jaebum can’t even remember the last time mark had black hair, a strange detail added into a dream by his subconscious. jaebum wonders what it could mean. 

 

yugyeom’s hair is different too, a soft pink and long enough at the top that it can be tied in a little knot on the top of his head, while the sides are shaved. jaebum’s sure he’s never seen yugyeom with hair like this, where did his brain come up with this image from? and why? his shirt is sleeveless and jaebum sees that he’s missing his ‘trust me’ tattoo before he pulls on a jacket and covers his now bare bicep. well, you can’t expect the brain to get every detail perfect. though he does think it’s strange that jaebum can notice a tattoo is missing but his brain couldn't think to add it onto this dream version of yugyeom.

 

“bambam-hyung’s gonna kill you when he sees you in your pajamas, jaebummie,” yugyeom laughs, noticing jaebum standing at the end of the hallway now, reaching down and to throw a pair of sneakers at him, “you know how seriously hyung takes the image of the group.”  

 

jaebum stares at him. 

 

_ bambam-hyung _ . 

 

scratch the dream concept, this has to be a  _ nightmare _ . 

  
  
  
  


the car ride to the broadcasting station goes by quickly, jaebum doesn’t remember much of it. he had followed mark and yugyeom out of the apartment block in dazed silence and climbed into the car where a manager he didn’t recognise greeted them, teasing him over his choice of outfit. there’s no ‘bambam-hyung’ nor any of the other members in the car and jaebum had felt relieved, the journey going by with mark scrolling on his phone beside him while jaebum tried to think back over whether or not he had ever had a dream this vivid before.

 

jaebum was also relieved when they didn’t meet up with the members outside the building to take pictures and were instead ushered in quickly through a back entrance. he’s following mark and the staff members through hallways and he has half the mind to recognise that they must be filming for music core today. yugyeom has been at jaebum’s side since they left the car, glancing at him every so often like he wants to speak up before deciding against it. normally, as both the leader and yugyeom’s hyung, jaebum would try and find out what’s bothering him, there’s clearly something on his mind, but this is a dream and jaebum’s not feeling so stable himself, so he leaves it this one time.  

 

if jaebum had been untethered this morning when he woke up in that strange room, it’s nothing compared to the unsettledness that has laid heavy in his stomach since yugyeom uttered the words ‘bambam-hyung’. he doesn’t even want to think about the possibilities they lead to but the further they walk into the building the more likely it is that he’s gonna be facing those possibilities firsthand really soon. 

 

the staff members open a door at the end of the hallway, piling into the room, mark not far behind them. jaebum can see the sign taped to the door,  _ GOT7 _ . he stops, palms sweating and heart racing. he’s not even sure why he’s so nervous, it’s only a dream, whatever is in that room can’t really affect him. 

 

an arm is thrown around his shoulder and jaebum jumps as he pulled into a body. he looks up and has yugyeom always been this tall? or has jaebum gotten shorter. 

 

“bummie, you’ve been acting weird this morning.” yugyeom pinches his ear. “are you okay?” 

 

jaebum’s not sure what makes him more uncomfortable. the lack of honorifics, the friendly touches or the concern that yugyeom, as the youngest of the team, is not really expected to show him. he swallows and yugyeom’s eyebrows furrow, “you don’t look good, jaebum. we should go tell hyung if you’re not feeling well.” 

 

and before jaebum gets a chance to brace himself he’s being pulled into the room. 

 

everything seems normal, at first glance anyway. he sees youngjae asleep on a sofa, mark beside him still watching videos. jackson's getting his makeup done with jinyoung leaning against the table in front of him, laughing at something jackson said. his eyes dart around and he sees bambam talking to one of the managers and he looks…  _ normal _ . everyone does, actually. 

 

like mark and yugyeom, some of the members have different hairstyles to what jaebum remembers them having outside of this dream world- youngjae has a dark red instead of the blue jaebum knows he has, jackson’s blond and jaebum feels a weird sense of nostalgia at the colour on jackson again. but jinyoung’s hair is still the muted brown that jaebum is used to seeing on him and bambam has tried so many hairstyles that jaebum hardly blinks at the waves of black hair that fall across his forehead, as tame as it is for bambam to have. 

 

the scene in front of his feels so real that jaebum is inclined to believe that the entire morning  _ had  _ been some kind of set up, that he hadn’t been dreaming and is instead a victim to some sort of variety show prank. dyeing hair and somehow secretly moving him from his house to a different location does feel pretty elaborate but he doesn’t put it past his team to take it that far, especially if they think the reaction will be entertaining later on. 

 

jaebum feels himself start to relax for the first time since he’s woken up, he feels like he’s finally back on even ground, has some control over the situation. it’s easy to continue on the thoughts of pranks and variety shows and block out any instances that have occurred throughout the day that don’t add up, because there’s no other possibility. it’s either a dream or a very well executed prank because what else could it be?

 

“hyung,” yugyeom’s voice breaks jaebum out of his thoughts, “jaebum-ah’s sick.” 

 

it’s a very yugyeom thing to do, he’s always been compassionate and a little bit sensitive. jaebum has gotten many distressed calls from yugyeom over the years when he thinks one of the members needs help that he can’t provide, so he turns to jaebum because as the leader it’s basically his duty to make sure everything, including the members’ wellbeing, is running smoothly. jaebum would almost feel relieved in the familiarity of the action if it wasn’t for how jarring it is to be on this end, where yugyeom is looking for help for  _ him _ . jaebum’s not even sure which hyung he could be referring to. 

 

his question is answered when bambam turns around, conversation with his manager halting, to look at them. 

 

jaebum’s blood runs cold. 

 

“jaebummie, are you not feeling well? you should have said something. how long have you been feeling like this?” bambam’s walking towards them now, the expression on his face is one jaebum has never seen before.  

 

jaebum is thrust towards bambam by yugyeom and all he can do is gape. he feels like he's having an out of body experience. 

 

“he was pretty quiet this morning,” mark pipes up, “he didn't get a chance to eat breakfast.”

 

bambam tuts, stepping forward to place a hand on jaebum's forehead and jaebum nearly flinches,”is that why you're in your pajamas, huh? you gotta tell us when you're not feeling good, how are your hyungs supposed to help you when you don't tell us what's wrong.”

 

jaebum's starting to get really freaked out, because the situation in front of him doesn't feel like it's for a variety show. it feels too… natural. the way bambam's acting is usually how  _ he  _ acts, bambam has been on this side of the exchange many times since jaebum has known him but there's never been a time where bambam plays the 'concerned hyung’ role because he's not a hyung. jaebum doesn't think he's ever seen bambam in this role.

 

the silence has clearly dragged on for too long and jaebum can feel jinyoung's eyes on him, interested and concerned for him now. he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth, but what can he even say? he doesn't know what's going on, he's still not even one hundred percent sure he's actually awake because this being a dream is the only plausible answer, right? 

 

but bambam’s touch on his forehead, moving to rub through his hair, feels too real. jaebum clenches his fists, nails biting into his palms and yep- that feels real too.

 

jaebum glances desperately around the room and his gaze falls on jinyoung. the one person jaebum always turns to when he needs help, his rock. but this isn't the same jinyoung he knows because he's got the expression on his face that jaebum has seen him give yugyeom when he stays in dance practice too late or when youngjae's voice is acting up. and for the very first time it's directed at  _ him _ . 

 

jinyoung shifts, standing up properly and furrows his eyebrows, “jaebum-ah?” 

 

and that's the final straw. 

 

jaebum spins on his heels, bambam's hand on his head falling off at the movement, and he pushes past yugyeom who had been hovering behind him. he ignores the yells and calls from the other members as he pulls the door open and takes off down the hallway. jaebum's been in this building enough over the last five years that finding the bathrooms isn't hard and he throws himself into one of the stalls, locking the door behind him and sitting down on the toilet. he stares at the door, adrenaline and something that feels like fear coursing through his veins. 

 

jaebum doesn't know what to do. 

 

hiding in the bathroom can only stall his problem and he's not even sure what the problem really is. jaebum's fairly certain now that he isn't dreaming but if this isn't a prank or a dream then what is it? 

 

there's no one for him to call, to turn to. everyone he would usually rely on at a time like this is treating him like he's- he's the  _ maknae _ . jaebum's never felt so out of his element and the feeling of helplessness washing over him is suffocating.

 

he's alone.

 

embarrassingly enough, jaebum can feel tears stinging his eyes and he clenches his teeth, shutting his eyes tight. what use is crying going to be for him now? it's not like sobbing on the toilet is going to give him any answers. but even with those thoughts in his head he can't stop the tears from welling up and he presses his fingers against his eyelids, tries to calm his breathing and  _ think _ . 

 

jaebum’s so preoccupied by his rising panic that he almost doesn’t hear the door open. his breath hitches and he holds it in hopes of being quiet enough to not be caught out. footsteps echo against the tiles and two feet come to a stop beneath the stall door. 

 

“jaebummie…” 

 

jaebum squeezes his eyes shut harder, dropping his head into his hands and wishing, praying, pleading for anything to take him as far away from this situation as possible. but it falls on deaf ears and jaebum bits his lips hard enough that he’s surprised it doesn’t start to bleed. 

 

he reaches out a hand blindly and flips a lock on the door, willing the tears not to fall but he can already feel the wetness of them on the tips of his fingers, where he’s still pressing too hard against his eyelids. 

 

jaebum doesn’t see the body that walks into the stall with him, pulling him off of the toilet lid and embracing him fully, but he clings on tightly anyway. 

 

“oh, jaebum,” jinyoung says soothingly, stroking his head, “it’s okay, shh.”

 

_ this  _ is the first thing that has felt normal since he woke up, though it's not something he usually experiences in this sort of setting. jaebum’s more of a ‘quiet breakdown in the safety of his room’ kinda guy than a ‘sobbing in a public restroom’ one, but even in this weird dimension/nightmare that jaebum’s somehow trapped in, jinyoung’s voice is still just as comforting. 

 

they don’t say anything for a while, jinyoung continues to hold him and jaebum messes up jinyoung’s nice dress shirt with his snot and tears. he’s not even sure why he’s crying, he knows he's scared and uncomfortable and unsettled, and it feels like the only thing he can do is cry. jinyoung just rocks them gently, humming every so often and whispering reassurances- everything that jaebum would expect jinyoung to do in a situation like this. 

 

eventually jinyoung pulls back, brushing away some of the tears that have collected on jaebum’s cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, “what’s wrong, jaebum-ah? because i’m pretty sure these aren’t because you’re feeling a bit sick.” 

 

it’s so jarring for jinyoung to go from treating him like jaebum is used to, to suddenly shifting into ‘hyung’ mode. jinyoung and him function on equal ground, though jinyoung knows when to respect his authority as a leader while also being able to strip that authority down when it’s just the two of them. they’ve known each other so long that finding that sense of balance came completely naturally when they debuted. but now- jaebum swallows around the lump in his throat, the sense of familiarity is gone. 

 

jinyoung is looking at him with concern in his eyes, a hint of fondness and affection too but it reminds jaebum of how he treats the maknaes. they’ve all known each other so long that loving and caring about each other is second nature, they’re family, but what he and jinyoung had will always feel different. and to see it gone, their history seemingly nonexistent now, is the biggest indicator that this isn’t some dream or prank. this isn’t where jaebum’s supposed to be. 

 

jinyoung’s expression fall when jaebum’s hit with a fresh set of tears and god, why is he so emotional today? it might have something to do with the apparent universe hopping but damn, jaebum doesn’t think he’s ever cried so much in his life.

 

“tell hyung what’s wrong, jaebummie. i can’t help if i don’t know why you’re sad,” jinyoung pulls him into an even tighter hug and jaebum lets himself cling on. 

 

“i don’t know,” jaebum says, his first words since he woke up coming out gasping and broken, “i don’t know.” 

 

and jaebum is grateful that jinyoung doesn’t scold him for talking informally. 

  
  
  
  
  


jinyoung leaves the bathroom once jaebum has calmed down and reassured him that he would be fine, he just needed a few more moments alone before he was ready to face the rest of the members. jinyoung told him before he left that he’d talk to the managers and bambam and try and pull him out of the performance today. jaebum didn’t feel the need to protest that decision and it seems jinyoung took jaebum’s passiveness even harder than his tears because he quickly left after that- looked at jaebum with unconcealed worry in his eyes, patted him once more on the head and left jaebum alone to his thoughts. 

jaebum finally steps out of the stall, rubbing away any remaining tears that are drying up on his face and stops at the sink, staring intently at the tap. he has a good enough grasp on the situation at hand that he’s scared to look at the mirror, fearing what he might see looking back at him. he takes a deep, steadying breath, gripping the edge of the counter hard. he can do this, no big deal. it can’t be any worse than hearing the words ‘bambam-hyung’ or sobbing openly into some alternate dimension jinyoung’s shoulder. he’s got this. 

 

like ripping off a bandaid, he snaps his head up and stares at himself in the mirror. 

 

jj project jaebum stares back at him. 

 

oh no. 

  
  
  
  
  


jaebum walks, false confidence in his step, down the hallway and back towards the dressing room. he only spent a few moments lamenting in front of the mirror, wondering why he was cursed to live through this part of his life not only once but twice. he looks nearly identical to when he first debuted in 2012, expect for the fact that he’s slightly older now than he was then which is so fucking weird that jaebum does not want to think about it for very long. 

 

he keeps his head held high as he passes people in the hallway, acting as if he doesn’t have cropped, ugly, yellow bangs and puffy red eyes from crying. jaebum’s pretty sure the only way to get through this is by pretending everything is okay. 

 

jaebum stops outside of the door marked with a sheet of paper stuck to it reading  _ GOT7 _ for the second time this day, feeling a whole lot different than he had the first time. he's numb from crying, like he's let out every emotion he had locked up inside him and now his mind is empty, so he doesn't hesitate to grab the handle and head inside the room, nervousness and dread from the morning nowhere to be found. 

 

the rest of the members and staff are polite enough that they don't stare at jaebum when he walks in but bambam and a manager jaebum doesn't recognize beeline towards him the second after he's shut the door. 

 

jaebum’s pulled into a bone-crushing hug so quickly that he doesn’t even get a chance to open his mouth and think of something to say to break the silence. 

 

“jaebum-ah,” bambam says fiercely, holding him tighter, “you push yourself too hard and then you don’t tell your hyungs when you’re feeling troubled.” he mumbles, almost to himself, rubbing jaebum’s back and rocking them like he can’t help himself.

 

bambam huffs out a laugh, shaking his head fondly as he pulls back, “god, you’re gonna give me grey hair before i’m thirty.” 

 

“i’m sorry… h-hyung,” jaebum tries not to visibly shudder, uncomfortable in playing a role he rarely has to in these contexts. 

 

jaebum decided while he was staring at his sad excuse for a hairstyle in the bathroom mirror after his breakdown that  his best bet would be to play along for know, get his bearings in this unfamiliar situation, and see what he can figure out about this weird alternate universe he’s somehow woken up in. at this point in time jaebum’s hoping that as long as he makes it through the day, everything will be normal again in the morning and he’ll never think about any of this ever again. 

 

doesn’t make it any less weird to do though. 

 

“don’t apologise, just make sure you tell us next time before it gets to this stage. we’re here to support you, okay. don’t be afraid to come to one of us, even if you think it’s something silly,” bambam runs a hand through jaebum’s, frankly, straw like hair, “hyungwoo-hyung and i decided that you should sit this performance out, hyung’s gonna take you back home, okay?” 

 

jaebum nods, he doesn’t think he has much of a say in the situation anyway. 

 

bambam’s eyebrows furrow but he squeezes the back of jaebum’s neck, “don’t think you’ve gotten out of talking about this, we’ll all be over once the broadcast is finished.” 

 

jaebum’s already dreading it, but at least he has time to think of some bullshit story now. 

 

bambam gives him one last troubled look, pulls him into another hug before he’s ushered away by their stylists. hyungwoo pats him on the shoulder and begins leading him out of the room. 

 

“rest well, jaebum-ah!” he hears jackson call out. 

 

“don’t burn down the apartment, jaebummie,” mark says. 

 

“wait!” 

 

jaebum freezes half a step into the hallway, hyungwoo stopping in his tracks also and a frazzled looking yugyeom runs up to them. 

 

“yugyeom-ah…” jaebum vaguely hears bambam’s voice scolding him but yugyeom seemingly ignores it. 

 

jaebum can only watch in a strange sense of numb shock as yugyeom reaches up with both his hands and cups the back on his neck, bringing their foreheads together. he looks him in the eyes and it's clear that jaebum’s little meltdown has left yugyeom feeling upset himself. 

 

“stupid,” yugyeom says, bumping their foreheads together, the emotion in his voice too intense for what jaebum would usually assume is an insult. he’s looking at jaebum like he wants him to reply and jaebum has never been so confused in his life. 

 

“idiot,” jaebum replies, bumping their heads against each other again, mimicking what yugyeom had just done. and it must have been the right call because yugyeom grins, big and wide. 

 

jinyoung appears beside them, grabbing yugyeom by the collar, “let him go home and rest, brat.” 

 

“whatever, hyung,” yugyeom rolls his eyes, yelping and making a run for it when jinyoung raises his hand to hit him.

 

“see you at home, jaebummie,” yugyeom calls, jinyoung hot on his tail as he runs back into the dressing room. the familiar scene makes warmth bloom in his chest. 

 

“time to take you home, kiddo,” hyungwoo says and jaebum just nods, following him down the hallway. 

 

he feels like there are a lot of naver searches in his future. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back again with more angsting jaebum fhdskj and a clearer view of how this story is gonna do down. lets hope i can update this quickly every time lol

the first thing jaebum does when he gets back into the unfamiliar apartment is look for his phone, which he hadn’t even thought to bring with him when he woke up this morning - there were more important things on his mind than replying to emails and checking instagram. though jaebum supposes maknae!jaebum’s time on his phone rarely consists of answering emails like his does. emails are more of a leader thing.

 

the ride back to the apartment block was uneventful and there had only been a moment of uncomfortableness when hyungwoo had stared at jaebum, expressionless, after he’d asked if he knew the passcode and number for his own apartment. but hyungwoo hadn’t questioned it, just looked at him strangely before suggesting he could go in with jaebum and show him himself.

 

after leaving hyungwoo at the door with a “thanks, hyung!” and reassurances that he was _fine_ just tired, jaebum immediately began snooping.

 

he had thrown his sneakers off at the door and stuffed his feet into the first pair of slippers at the door, with little regard to who actually owned them, and began the hunt for his phone. he’s not sure where exactly maknae!jaebum would put it, considering he knows next to nothing about him, just that he clearly has little self respect to let the stylists to _this_ to his hair. jaebum himself at least has the excuse of being young and impressionable at the time of jjproject’s debut, maknae!jaebum though… twenty-one is too old to allow the company to do this to you.

 

jaebum makes his way down the hallway, intending to start looking in the room he had woken up in this morning but a picture frame hanging up on the wall in the hallway stops him. he steps closer to it, tilting forward to take it in. jaebum scans the faces and a small smile forms as he recognises as much younger version of GOT7, from the looks of jackson and yugyeom, they must have just debuted, and as his eyes drift across the rest of the members, youngjae, mark, jinyoung, it’s clear from how young they all are here. jaebum’s eyes freeze on the next two people, swallowing harshly.

 

the picture must have been taken at one of their first broadcasts as a band, though jaebum doesn’t recognize the styling for the concept at all, but the baby fat on a grinning yugyeom’s face tells him that he can only be about sixteen here. so, if this timeline is anything like jaebum’s they would have debuted in 2014 too- he blinks, starring the proud smile on bambam’s face, who definitely does not look like the sixteen year old bambam that jaebum remembers from debut. and the boy beside him, who twenty year old bambam has an arm thrown over, is what jaebum vaguely remembers looking like when he _entered_ jype. yet here he is, cropped black hair and chubby cheeks, debuted.

 

the same feeling of unsettledness is rising in jaebum again and he takes a step back from the picture, but he can’t seem to look away. it’s uncanny, to look at people he recognises and knows so well and feel like he doesn’t know them at all at the same time.

 

jaebum breathes in a shaky breath and continues on down the hallway, no point in spooking himself out anymore than he already is. the last thing he needs is a repeat of the bathroom incident, he just needs to make it through today and he’ll wake up tomorrow like none of this has ever happened. jaebum just has to learn everything he can now to get through the uncomfortable conversation he’s gonna have with the rest of the members when he gets home, and then he’s free.

 

he opens the door to what he thinks was the room he woke up in this morning and immediately dives under the unmade covers of the bed and buries himself in it, he’s glad he didn’t get changed out of his pajamas earlier, kicking his slippers off at the end of the bed and curls up into a little ball. he’s definitely _not_ freaking out, he is completely under control and everything is _fine_.

 

or so he tells himself as he pulls the covers up and over his head.

 

he only means to calm himself down under the blanket for a few minutes, give his mind a moment of rest after the frankly extremely stressful morning he had, but travelling to alternative universes must have left him exhausted because seconds after he’s buried himself in his bed is eyes are sliding shut and he drifts to sleep. jaebum’s last thought before he passes out is a fleeting sense of hope that he might wake up back home in the morning, but even in his half conscious state he knows it’s delusional.

  
  
  
  
  


the sound of an obnoxious edm track wakes him up and jaebum groans loudly. he doesn’t remember setting that as his ringtone but it doesn’t take him long to blame bambam for it. he reaches out blindly, slapping around his bedside table for his phone and he pulls the charger cable out, swiping up to answer, all without opening his eyes.

 

“ _how are you feeling?_ ”

 

not even a hello, typical jinyoung.

 

“okay, i guess. you woke me up from a pretty peaceful nap though, jinyoung-ah,” jaebum huffs playfully, rubbing at his eyes.

 

as jaebum’s consciousness returns to him and the fog of sleep lifts he begins to recognise that there’s something off about this situation. such as, why is he still in bed when there’s clearly a schedule that jinyoung is attending without him, he doesn’t feel sick so it’s not like he’s out of commission.

there’s a beat of silence on the end of the phone and then jinyoung huffs, “ _just because you’re not feeling good doesn’t mean you can drop all formalities, jaebum-ah.”_

 

the sound of his voice is half teasing but jaebum feels like he’s gotten a bucket of ice dropped over him.

 

jaebum didn’t think he would wake up back home so soon, but it doesn’t make it any less unpleasant to find out that he’s still stuck in this strange universe, especially when he’s already disorientated from his nap.

 

but damn, for a second he really believed everything had gone back to normal. jaebum tries not to let it affect him so much.

 

“sorry,” he swallows, “hyung.”

 

he hears jinyoung laugh down the line and even this completely different version of jinyoung’s laugh still makes him feel warm inside, the sound settling his rapidly beating heart for just a moment, “ _we’ll let it slide just this once, brat._ ”

 

he says ‘brat’ with the same amount of fondness that jaebum had heard him use for yugyeom this morning. it makes him swallow another lump down his throat.

 

“ _we’ll be home before dark, hopefully, so try to rest up some more. bambam’s not gonna go easy on you tonight, you really gave us a scare_ ,” jinyoung continues, oblivious to jaebum’s struggle.

 

jaebum tried to keep his voice steady, “sure thing, hyung.”

 

after an exchange of goodbyes they hang up and jaebum is left to his own thoughts again, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. he has the urge to pull the blanket back up and over his face and hide away from the world for another while, but he’s got his phone in his hand now so he might as well put it to use.

 

lucky for jaebum, it has a fingerprint lock, so he doesn’t have to go through the trouble of trying to hack into his own phone. the lock screen is a picture of a cat, though not one that jaebum recognises and it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have any cats in this universe. it still comforts him that he at least shares this with his alternative dimension self, jaebum’s sure there isn’t a uniserve out there that has a version of him in it that doesn’t have a slightly unhealthy love for cats- now _that_ would be unnatural.

 

it’s his homescreen that makes his eyebrows raise though, because it’s just a picture of yugyeom. jaebum can tell from the picture that it must have been taken during a dance practice, because yugyeom is spread out on the floor, flushed and sweaty, blowing a kiss to the camera pointed at him. from the angle whoever had taken the photo must have been standing above him.

 

jaebum wonders what possessed maknae!jaebum to make _this_ his homescreen.

 

it makes him want to go through his photo albums and see what other pictures maknae!jaebum might have on his phone but jaebum knows it’s probably more important to try and find out more about this version of GOT7, considering he’s going to have to act like he knows what’s happening in this universe in a couple of hours, and judging by the photo in the hallway and the members appearances this morning, this GOT7 holds little in common with his GOT7. concept wise anyway, jaebum’s still not sure what they’re _actually_ like, other than giving him uncanny valley vibes by begin both similar and completely different to _his_ members.

 

jaebum opens up naver, punches GOT7 into the search bar and filters it to show oldest to latest. he feels that if he can get a grasp of where they started and what they’re doing now he’ll be able to bullshit the rest and get through the conversation set to happen tonight. it’s not like he’ll need anymore information than just the basics, he’s not going to be here that long, he’s sure of it.

 

he clicks on a video titled ‘ _JYP’S NEW BOY GROUP GOT7’S HOT DEBUT STAGE_ ’ and prepares himself, eyes glued to the screen.

 

well, it certainly isn’t girls girls girls, that’s for sure.

 

watching this video, though it clearly begin GOT7, feels like he’s watching a completely different band he’s never seen before. the concept this GOT7 debuted with is nothing like the hip hop inspired concept his group debuted with. instead it’s edgier and darker, rather than a heavy beat there’s guitar and drums, though the choreography is just as intense. it feels like a more youthful version of _if you do_. jaebum’s honestly a little jealous of the styling this GOT7 has, considering how bad everyone looked when he debuted. in this universe, GOT7 debuted in ripped jeans, tank tops with american band logos on them, leather jackets and long, dark fringes covering half their faces.

 

the eyeliners just as heavy as jaebum remembers his own being when he first debuted, there are still small mercies.

 

this video freaks him out a lot less than standing in a room with alternative universe!GOT7. it’s a lot easier to dissociate himself with the situation when faced with a concept like this, where a lot of the members are nearly unrecognizable to what he knows them to be. even when jaebum sees a much younger version of himself whine about love and it’s unfairness to the camera, looking every bit as boyish and angsty as the lyrics he’s spewing are, jaebum can hardly see the correlation between himself and the boy on screen.

 

the only person that makes him uncomfortable when he shows up in the video is bambam, who at their debut in 2014, looks only a bit younger than he is in jaebum’s universe. a twenty year old bambam, surrounded by all of the debut versions of the other six members, feels so unbelievable wrong that jaebum can’t even being to wrap his head around it.

 

jaebum clicks out of the video, changes the settings back to show the latest videos and chooses the one that has been posted less than an hour ago. jaebum immediately recognises that this must have been from the recording they were doing today, noticing the absence of a member in the formation. he’s almost grateful that he had a breakdown in the bathroom and was benched because jaebum would not have been able to fake as maknae!jaebum, considering he doesn’t know this dance or song.

 

jaebum’s only a few seconds into the song but he already can tell that jinyoung produced and wrote it. he had an idea, from just seeing the other members today, that the concept that this GOT7 were doing couldn’t be drastically different to his own universes’. the song and styling remind jaebum of _verse two_ in a way that makes him feel almost homesick. he finds it interesting that even in this strange alternate reality, jinyoung is still creating the same sort of sound he does back home. overall, it’s a softer GOT7 concept, almost reminiscent to _you are_. the choreography only looks a little bit awkward without maknae!jaebum as a part of it and it’s only half way through the song before jaebum can’t watch it any longer.

 

he locks his phone, throwing it onto the bedside table. watching this version of GOT7 performing and dancing together just makes him want to go _home_ . everything here feels weird and wrong and jaebum just wants the uncomfortable itch that’s been under his skin, the voice at the back of his head whispering ‘ _this isn’t right_ ’, to leave him alone.

 

jaebum closes his eyes and pulls the covers back up and over his head, taking a deep breath while he tries to quiet the thoughts in his head. there’s no point in freaking himself out anymore, all he needs to do is get through the rest of the day and when he wakes up in the morning this will all be over. he can go on about his normal life and pretend all of this never happened. he only has to make it through a couple more hours, that’s it.

 

jaebum relaxes his grip on the blankets, he hadn’t even realised he’d been clutching them so tightly, and lets the air he’d been holding in his lungs out. with an empty mind and a sense of calming nothingness washing over him he falls back to sleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  


the sound of a door slamming and multiple voices is what wakes up jaebum the second time, but unlike the first he’s still aware of the fact that he’s not a _home_ so when a voice that sounds like jackson calls out “jaebummie~” he’s not disappointed. well, _that_ disappointed anyway. jaebum isn’t even given any time to rub the sleep from his eyes before the door to the room is being pushed opened, revealing a grinning yugyeom from behind it.

 

“bum-ah!” yugyeom sings, skipping into the room and flopping himself onto the bed, directly on top of jaebum, knocking all of the air out of him. this may be an alternative universe by yugyeom is still six foot and _heavy_.

 

jaebum fights against the weight on top of him, “yah, get off of me you lump,” the scolding tone comes naturally to him, the first thing that’s felt casual since he’s been dumped here.

 

yugyeom squirms harder, until he wiggled his way up jaeum’s body and can bury his face in his neck, a cold nose pressing into jaebum’s exposed skin and making him flinch away.

 

“stop being mean, jaebum. i missed~ you,” yugyeom coos in his ear and jaebum want to scoff and roll his eyes at the overly cheesy tone but he can’t because something is telling him that while being over the top yugyeom is also actually _serious_ \- which is ridiculous because it’s only been a handful of hours.

 

before jaebum can try and come up with a response yugyeom is pressing a wet kiss to the side of his neck, shocking any thought out of his brain because _what_ ? is being this over affectionate just a same age friends thing or an alternative universe!yugyeom thing because jaebum’s pretty sure that even _his_ yugyeom isn’t this bad.

 

a cough from the doorway pulls his attention away from his unanswered questions, yugyeom’s head detaching itself from his neck as they both turn to see jinyoung standing in the doorway, frown on his lips but fondness in his eyes, “stop flirting, maknaes. hyungs have brought dinner, hurry up.”

 

there’s still a pit in jaebum’s stomach every time he’s reminded of his situation, but he feels like he’s getting better at pushing that uncomfortableness away, locking that panic and terror from earlier deep down and allowing himself to act like a functioning human being who doesn’t have a breakdown every time someone calls him ‘jaebum-ah’. which is great for him, considering he wants to get through the next couple of hours without making the rest of the members think he’s gone clinically insane.

 

yugyeom hops off him at the mention of food, pulling jaebum up and out of the bed against his will and barely gives him enough time to shove his feet into slippers before tugging him down the hallway after jinyoung.

 

“i’m so hungry,” he hears youngjae whine from the sitting room and jaebum can sense the anxiety from the morning rise in him again. he tries to stamp it down, chanting to himself that by tomorrow this will all be over and he’ll be home. and with that thought in mind he’s pulled into the sitting room.

 

“food!” yugyeom yells, dropping jaebum’s hand and running to the table, picking up the McDonald’s take away bag.

 

seems like this version of yugyeom also has the pallet of a child too, jaebum finds that similarity oddly comforting. he stands in the doorway, unsure of what to do now without yugyeom dragging him everywhere. how would maknae!jaebum act in this situation, would he sit with yugyeom? mark? what does he like to eat, is it the same as jaebum’s taste or different now?

 

jaebum has a feeling that he might be over thinking this.

 

“jaebum-ah,” bambam’s says, smiling at him from the couch and patting the empty spot beside him, “come sit with hyung, we ordered you bulgogi.”

 

thankful that he doesn’t have to make a decision, jaebum doesn’t even have time to lament over how weird it is to see bambam refer to himself as ‘hyung’, and rushes over to sit beside him, taking the offered food and chopsticks from him and digging in. it’s only as he beings eating does he realise just how hungry he is, jaebum hadn’t eaten all day, shock and fear completely destroying his appetite. but now that there’s food in front of him he can’t stop himself of shoveling it down his throat as fast as possible.

 

“yah, slow down before you choke,” mark comments from across the room, “you’re acting like you haven’t eaten all day.”

 

jaebum swallows a particularly large bite, “i haven’t,” he says, unthinking.

 

jaebum feels a hit on the back of his neck, the shock of it nearly making him drop his chopsticks, “why haven’t you eaten, jaebum-ah? what have we said about skipping meals,” bambam scolds.

 

annoyance flares up inside of jaebum, and there’s a ‘ _that’s no way to talk to your hyungs_ ’ lecture on the tip of his tongue before he remembers where he is, the realisation making him deflate. he sinks back in the chair, and drops his gaze to the floor, “sorry, hyung.”

 

silence falls over the room, like the others aren’t sure how to respond. jaebum has no idea how maknae!jaebum would act in a situation like this so he stays quiet and goes back to shovelling noodles back into his mouth. eventually conversation starts back up and bambam rests his palm on the back of jaebum’s neck, squeezing it slightly in what jaebum’s thinks is a silent apology. he’s proud of himself for not flinching away from the touch, instead giving bambam a small quirk of his lips in acknowledgement, which seems to satisfy him.

 

jaebum spends the rest of the meal sitting back and observing the rest of the members, unsure of what he would even say if he had wanted to speak up considering he doesn’t fully understand maknae!jaebum’s place in the group yet- well, other than _maknae_ anyway. jaebum’s place in his own band in long established, he’s one of the calming presences in the group, while also being able to get goofy and have fun with the younger ones every now and then. the fans always say that his appearance makes him come across as cold or distance but his personality is soft and open and jaebum is comfortable with that image. his ‘chic’ vibe from debut had felt restrictive but over the years he has been able to break free from it and show a little bit more of _jaebum_ rather than _JB._

 

in this world though, jaebum has no idea what sort of role his alternative self plays. from watching the other members while they were eating, jaebum thinks its safe to say that the general dynamics of the groups haven’t shifted too drastically, even with having bambam as the leader. bambam still gets teased by mark and jinyoung, clings onto jackson and teases youngjae, the only really difference is the way that he interacts with yugyeom- it’s not like they’re unfriendly or anything, yugyeom still pokes fun at bambam and laughs along with the rest of the jokes, it’s just that jaebum is so used to seeing them caught up in each other. laughing at jokes only the two of them understand, or hunched over a phone together watching videos, or teaming up to pick on the hyungs, but here it seems to be absent. jaebum wonders ideally if maknae!jaebum filled the role of bambam in this universe, but he finds it hard to believe, just because _jaebum’s_ part of the maknae line here he doubts he would act anything like bambam, him and yugyeom must have a different type of relationship.

 

he thinks of the background on maknae!jaebum’s phone and the way yugyeom acted when he came to wake him from his nap and jaebum beings to wonder what exactly that type of relationship is.

 

jaebum’s so caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even notice bambam and jinyoung stubetly clearing the living room out until it’s just the three of them sitting there. so they’re having this conversation now then, great. jaebum feels his palms begin to sweat and he swallows, watching as jinyoung and bambam move to the two arm chairs that conveniently happen to be placed in front of the sofa he’s sitting on. he feels vaguely like he’s about to get lectured by his parents. this must be what his members feel like when he and _his_ jinyoung sit them down to talk about _feelings_ , jaebum thinks idly.

 

“jaebum-ah,” bambam begins, shifting from the somewhat recognisable version that jaebum had seen at dinner into what must be his ‘leader mode’, “jinyoungie and i wanted to talk to you about what happened this morning and make sure everything’s okay?”

 

jinyoung nods in agreement, “you really scared us today.”

 

jaebum purses his lips, he tries to think of how he would react if say, yugyeom or bambam or any of the members really, showed up to a broadcast and immediately locked themselves into the bathroom and had a breakdown. needless to say he would be very concerned.

 

“we know its hard around comeback season,” bambam continues, taking jaebum’s silence as a queue that he wasn’t going to respond yet, “especially when we’ve just finished a tour,” that’s news to jaebum, “but if there is anything bothering you, or if you’re carrying any hardships, please don’t be afraid of telling us.”

 

there’s a weight to bambam’s words and the look in his eyes when he looks at him that makes jaebum think that this might be coming from a place deeper than just being concerned about his dongsaeng having a small stress induced crying sesh in the bathroom.

 

jinyoung surprises jaebum by reaching out and taking his hands into his own, squeezing onto them tightly and looking him directly in the eyes, “you had a really tough time last year, jaebum-ah, and even though it seems like you’ve recovered from it, don’t be embarrassed when it still does affect you. just please tell one of your hyungs or yugyeom, if you need some extra time off or someone to talk to and don’t let it build up inside of you. that’s not healthy, jaebummie.”

 

the intensity of the words throw jaebum off guard, the conversation has not gone at all like he thought it would. he’s curious about what exactly jinyoung means when he says he had a ‘tough time’ but it’s not like he can outright ask him, considering he’s the one who’s supposed to have experienced it. jaebum doesn’t remember anything particularly _bad_ happening to him personally in 2018, but then again it seems like very little of the two timelines add up in terms of events, other than the fact that they both debuted in 2014 in a group called GOT7.

 

“i’m really sorry, hyungs,” jaebum says as sincerely as he possibly can make it, “i promise i won’t let this happen again, i’ll go to either of you or one of the other members next time i’m feeling down or overwhelmed. it just happened so quickly today, i woke up and i just felt … off and next thing i knew i was crying in the bathroom.” he drops his gaze to the floor, feeling slightly exposed by his own words but it’s close enough to the truth that he hopes it appease both jinyoung and bambam.

 

jinyoung squeezes his hands again and jaebum catches both of them looking at him, still concerned but at the same time relieved which in turn makes jaebum also feel relieved. what he said must have been convincing enough because he can see bambam relaxing in his chair and jinyoung grips his hands one more time before dropping them.

 

“i’m gonna go and call back in the rest, they’ve been losing their minds over you all day- but just remember, jaebum-ah, we’ve finished promotions now so take some time to yourself. i don’t want to see you at dance practice room for the rest of the week, okay,” bambam says, voice stern but the smile on his face softening the words.

 

jaebum pretends to act reluctant. “okay, ” he mumbles and bambam’s face brightens.

 

bambam goes to yell for the others to come back in but before he can jaebum grabs his wrist, “actually, do you mind if i go to bed now? it’s been a really stressful day and i kinda want to sleep it off.”

 

“of course you can, jaebummie,” jinyoung answers instead and jaebum’s just glad to here he won’t have to pretend to act like someone else any longer. he stands up and so does jinyoung, who opens his arms and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s asking for.

 

it’s weird to be receiving this much affection from jinyoung, they’re usually more of a words speak louder than actions kinda pair and keep their psychical touches to something more subtle, but this must be a consequence to being a maknae now. either way it still feels natural to be fall into jinyoung’s embrace, letting himself be squeezed tight. by the time he’s moved out of jinyoung’s hug he’s being pulled into another one, and it doesn’t take much to guess that whose arms are around them, as bony as they are.

 

“we’re here for you, jaebum,” bambam says, voice muffled from the way his face is pressed against the crown of his head and the words leave jaebum feeling more than slightly emotional, even though they’re not really meant for _him_.  

 

bambam lets him go and jaebum steps back, he sends a smile to them both before he heads back down the hallway towards what he remembers to be maknae!jaebum’s room. a light shines underneath one of the doors at the end of the hall and jaebum’s not sure whether it’s yugyeom’s or mark’s room, but he can hear voices coming from it and youngjae’s loud laughter. the sound brings a smile to his face while at the same time he’s hit with a pang of homesickness, if he were at home he probably would have headed to the room and joined them but instead he turns to the left and opens the door of what he thinks is his room.

 

closing the door behind them he lets out a sigh, his eyes closed.

 

“you okay, bummie?”

 

he yelps in surprise, eyes snapping open to see yugyeom lounging on the unmade bed like he owns it, maknae!jaebum’s phone in his hand. there’s a smirk on his face, presumably from scaring him and jaebum is so confused because why is yugyeom in here?

 

“i- yes?” it sounds more like a question than jaebum intended and yugyeom laughs, lying back into the pillows, “... i was planning on going to sleep,” which jaebum hopes translates to ‘please leave my room’.

 

“i guessed,” yugyeom says which, what? if he knew jaebum wanted to go to sleep then why is he here? “i waited for you here, thought you might want some company.”

 

jaebum blinks, unable to response. he’s not sure if this is a _normal_ occurrence between maknae!jaebum and yugyeom, so he’s unwilling to ask yugyeom to leave considering it might cause more issues that jaebum does not want to deal with right now. deciding that he’s gonna just have to live with yugyeom existing beside him while he sleeps, jaebum shrugs and climbs into the bed.

 

this is all a lot easier to deal with knowing that when he wakes up in the morning this will all be over and he’ll be home. or well, that’s what he’s expecting to happen. it _has_ to happen.

 

he’s about to rest his head on the pillow but yugyeom shifting on the bed and pouting stops him.

 

“what are you doing all the way over there,” he whines, “get over here,” ‘here’ seemingly his body, or so jaebum guesses from the way he’s gesturing to it anyway. jaebum closes his eyes briefly and sends a pray to anyone who’s out there listening, begging them to spare him his sanity.

 

 _this will all be over by morning, once you wake up everything will be normal again_ , he chants to himself like a mantra as he shuffles closer to yugyeom awkwardly. once he’s close enough yugyeom drapes an arm around him, pulling him hard enough that jaebum lands head first on his chest. shifting again, hand sliding up to rest on his head and starts to play with his hair, yugyeom sighs happily. jaebum does the only thing he can think of, which is pretending to act like this is a totally normal situation he’s found himself in. he’s hesitantly drops his arm across yugyeom’s torso, moving around until he’s comfortable.

 

yugyeom reaches over to flick off the lamp on the bedside table, the only light in the room now coming from the phone in his hand and he pulls up the blankets and tucks jaebum in, “goodnight, stupid.”

 

jaebum closes his eyes and tries not to think too hard about the fact that he’s planning on falling asleep on yugyeom, willingly, “goodnight, idiot.”

  
once he falls asleep, all of this will be maknae!jaebum’s problem and jaebum can go back to his normal life, which does not include cuddling yugyeom to sleep. he can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed, sorry for making jaebum suffer so much his whole brain is a mess. will jaebum wake up back home? problems fixed magically? who knows? 
> 
> comments feed me, so pls tell me what u think. 
> 
> or come follow me on tumblr @ jaebald where i cry over got7 on tour or on twitter @jaebumisbald where i rt pics of got7 on tour and also cry kjfhdjk
> 
> PS im sorry yasmin for not giving you time to read over I HAVE AN IMPULSE POSTING PROBLEM OKAY SJFHSKDJ I LOVE U


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.... it's been a while ....
> 
> would you believe that this has been in my drafts since basically the time i posted the last chapter....
> 
> im sorry to anyone out there who i left hanging but hopefully it won't take me this long for the next chapter...

the first thing that jaebum notices when he wakes up is that he's getting spooned. the second is the crushing reality and disappointment that even after spending all of the day before deluding himself into thinking he was going to wake up back home and everything would be fine, he hasn't. he allows himself a few minutes to close his eyes and wallow in the feelings of complete and utter helplessness and fear of the unknown before he opens his eyes again and pushes those feelings deep down. hoping that they won't come back to haunt him yet knowing that if they did he would be useless in trying to stop them. 

 

wow, great way to start the day in an unfamiliar universe, he's feeling comforted already.

 

jaebum ignores the unshed tears clinging to his eyelashes and tried to understand why  _ exactly _ he is being spooned right now. the arms around his waist are tight and he can feel a nose nuzzling into the back of his neck. the silence is broken from a sudden sneeze, probably from the hay that jaebum now has to call his hair, and jaebum's treated to a spray of spit to the back of his neck. 

 

even better, nothing like both existential dread  _ and  _ being covered in spit to start your day. 

 

jaebum's as stiff as a board now and there's a giggle from behind him. “sorry, bummie,” yugyeom croaks, not sounding very sorry as he presses a kiss to the place that he just sneezed all over which, gross. 

 

“urgh,” is all jaebum says in response. 

 

his brain is too fogged up from sleep to really process what’s happening right now, and since he’s pushed all of the negative thoughts deep down, he’s feeling pleasantly numb. yugyeom laughs again behind him, breath tickling the back of jaebum’s neck, and he squeezes his arms around him tighter, their bodies pressed up closely. 

 

jaebum should really start thinking about what  _ exactly  _ is going on here, maybe try and get some answers from yugyeom subtly, but the idea of unpacking it any further and finding out something that will probably make him scream is honestly the last thing he wants to do right now- he can deal with some spooning and unsolicited kisses to the neck all while pretending that there isn’t anything more to it because that is what’s keeping him sane right now. 

 

they lay there for a while, not saying anything. jaebum lets his thoughts run, not really thinking about anything at all and thankfully his mind stays peacefully blank while yugyeom presses his forehead against jaebum's shoulder blades and plays with his fingers. it’s actually kind of nice for a while. having company like this makes the whole situation feel a little less lonely for jaebum, even though yugyeom has no idea what the situation even is. but jaebum can think for just a second, in the silence of a room he sees no familiarity within at all even though there’s a picture of  _ him  _ on the wall he’s staring at, that there’s someone on his side- someone who gets it and is willing to just be there with him in the quiet. 

 

and if jaebum is imagining, wishing that there’s someone else's arms around him, the person in  _ his  _ universe that would be there with him like this, then that’s just for jaebum to know. 

 

eventually the moment is broken when jaebum’s bladder starts screaming at him, so he eventually breaks the hold of the arms around him, only a little jarred when he hears yugyeom whining about the loss of his body warmth, and shoves his feet into the slippers beside the bed, shuffling out of the room. it only takes him a few tries to find the bathroom and he locks the door behind him, noticing towels on the counter and deciding that he might as well take a shower, maybe wash off some of that sadness from yesterday. 

 

its when he’s making his way to the sink to wash his hands that he notices the mirror, stopping and looking himself in the eyes. the blond looks out of place, it’s been a long time since jaebum has had such a bright hair colour and it feels alien to see himself with it. he runs a hand through his hair, and yep, just as straw-like as he thought it was going to be. jaebum’s not sure if he’s imagining it, but he definitely feels like he looks younger. technically, he’s not  _ that  _ much younger in this body compared to his own timeline but he can’t help but pick out the details anyway. one thing that is noticeable is how he’s thinner here than he’s used to, probably even thinner than jaebum was when he debuted, which is concerning considering jaebum remember how hard he had to diet to get that look. he pokes at his protruding cheekbones, lifting his chin to look at his too sharp jaw line and he frowns. he shakes off the concern, there’s no point in worrying too much over a body he doesn’t even technically own.

 

jaebum’s about to walk away from the counter to turn on the shower when a box on the bottom shelf of the sink catches his eyes. he squints and a smile starts to stretch across his face. he bends down to snatch the box but stops half way, gasping as his back twinges in pain. he straightens up immediately, the pain only easing slightly as he grips the counter for support. 

 

_ what the fuck _ . jaebum thought that maybe because he was younger he wouldn’t have to deal with this back shit, more youthful bones and all that, so why does his back feels like it’s in worse condition than his body back home. like pretty much everything else that’s been going on, he decides not to think about why this body is like this and instead he takes a deep breath, before squatting down and grabbing the box, pouring the contents of it out next to the sink. 

 

he stares at the black hair dye, feeling giddy and a little bit spiteful, slipping on the gloves as he opens up the bottle. might as well do something that gives him  _ some _ semblance of control while he’s here, even if it is only hair. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


running the towel through his damp hair one more time, he lets the wet, black locks fall against his forehead. looking at himself in the mirror, tufts of black hair sticking up messily around his head, he feels more like himself than he has since he first woke up two days ago. a skinnier, scrawnier, more injured version of himself, sure- but still himself nonetheless. he debates putting back on his dirty sleep clothes but decides against it, the bathroom isn’t that far from his bedroom and he’s hoping that with jaebum gone yugyeom might have left. 

 

of course jaebum was wrong about that, and he can’t say he’s really that surprised- he doesn’t even know why he chanced his luck considering how the rest of his life has been going lately. 

 

there’s a lump on the bed, yugyeom having apparently fallen back to sleep in jaebum’s absence which is good news for him. he would rather get dressed without an audience watching. he tiptoes to the wardrobe in the corner of the room and starts sorting through it, mildly curious at what sort of fashion sense maknae!jaebum might have. 

 

jaebum finds underwear first, pulling it on and dropping the towel around his waist after he spares the sleeping lump another glance to make sure yugyeom hasn’t woken up. he’s making his way through the t-shirt collection when something catches his eye and he stops, reaching into the back of the closet and pulling it out. snoop dogg's face stares right back at him and jaebum can’t stop the laugh that builds in his chest at the sight of it. 

 

what would the rest of the members say if they knew that even in an alternate reality jaebum is  _ still _ wearing this snoop dogg shirt, he’s nearly sure bambam would shed a tear of agony at the thought. 

 

“what’re you laughin’ bout?” a groggy voice mumbles behind him and jaebum nearly jumps out of his skin, dropping the t-shirt in his hand in his shock. 

 

he turns around to see yugyeom sitting up now, pink hair long and falling across his face as he rubs his eyes sleepily. he gives jaebum a smile but the expression freezes in surprise when he notices his appearance, “you changed your hair?” 

 

jaebum whines, running a hand through his still wet hair, “yeah, roots were growing back and i didn’t want to have to deal with it,” he shrugs, hoping that it's a plausible enough excuse. 

 

“i like it,” yugyeom decides, staring at him intensely, “i haven’t seen you with black hair since…” he pauses, thinking for a moment, “since before debut i think. god, has it really been that long?” 

 

yugyeom look at him thoughtfully for a moment, smile growing on his face again, “think it suits you better now, though i might just be saying that because of what you’re wearing,” his smile turns into a smirk, eyes trailing down his body in a way that jaebum can only described as suggestive, “or lack of what you’re wearing, i guess.”

 

jaebum laughs awkwardly, fighting a flustered blush and unsure of how to respond. he feels slightly exposed now just in his underwear and under yugyeom’s heavy gaze. in an effort to combat that feeling he bends down quickly to grab his t-shirt from the floor but stops abruptly, gasping in pain. 

 

what the fuck? what did maknae!jaebum do to himself to put this much strain on his back from a movement as easy as this. 

 

within seconds yugyeom is out of the bed and rushing to his side, slowly helping jaebum straighten out. unconsciously tears welled up in his eyes from the pain but jaebum is a lot more confused than he is upset. 

 

“jaebum-ah!” yugyeom scolds, though his hands are shaky as he leads jaebum to sit on the corner of the bed, “you know better than to be putting unnecessary strain on yourself.” 

 

“strain?” jaebum can’t help but exclaim, “i was bending down to pick up a shirt, i wouldn't exactly call that an ‘unnecessary strain’,” though the twinge in that’s still present in his back argues against that statement. 

 

the looks of pure, unadulterated worry on yugyeom's face kills any of the building frustration in jaebum and he slumps, trying not to flinch when yugyeom runs a hand down his still bare back. the last thing jaebum expected from this morning was to be sitting on the bed, only in his underwear, with yugyeom fretting over him and an aching back- jaebum's starting to discover that he can't really predict anything that's happening in his life currently, he could probably blame the whole alternative universe thing for that. 

 

yugyeom moves to sit on the bed beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist and resting his forehead on jaebum's still very bare shoulder, “i'm sorry for freaking out, it's just-” he sighs, squeezing jaebum closer to him who's already nearly in his lap, “it's still really hard to see you in pain, after everything that's happened.” 

 

well that sounds ominous. jaebum's not sure on how to ask yugyeom what exactly  _ happened _ without blowing his cover so he slips into 'comforting hyung role’, a role he's very familiar with when dealing with a sad yugyeom, “it's okay, gyeom-ah. you're allowed to freak out, i'd be the same if you were in pain too.” 

 

he hopes its vague enough to not be too suspicious and sincere enough that yugyeom actually takes it to heart. 

 

yugyeom looks up, his own eyes slightly watery too. he cups jaebum’s cheek with his hand, fingers lightly grazing the still wet strands of jaebum’s freshly dyed hair. jaebum stares into yugyeom’s eyes, unblinking, afraid to even move as yugyeom uses the pad of his thumb to gently brush a stray tear that must have fallen from jaebum’s eyes when he teared up. jaebum’s not really sure if he likes the atmosphere that has descended upon them now, something about it making him uncomfortable because of how intimate it feels. this isn’t how jaebum would comfort a member if they were feeling down, this is something more. something that jaebum doesn’t think he can deal with. 

 

yugyeom begins to lean in, his gaze flickering between his lips and eyes, eyelids fluttering like he’s getting ready to close them. jaebum’s going into panic mode- what can he do here? does he lean back? cough? oh god, what is happening?

 

the shrill sound of a phone ringing echoes in the room, causing the two boys to jump apart. jaebum can feel his heart hammering in his chest as relief courses through him because he’s one thousand percent sure that yugyeom was about to kiss him and there was nothing he would be able to do about it. god bless whoever is on the other end of the phone call, maybe jaebum’s luck is finally turning around? 

 

yugyeom stumbles around trying to find his phone in the bed sheets and jaebum takes the welcome interruption to finally pull the snoop dogg shirt over his head and slip into the joggers that yugyeom had handed him. no longer feeling exposed in just his underwear, jaebum allows himself to finally relax, watching with mild amusement as yugyeom loses the battle with the blankets as he finally finds his phone and makes a grab for it, swiping up to answer. 

 

“hi hyung?” he hears yugyeom say, which means it could really be anyone as most people they know are yugyeom’s hyung- except for him in this context, jaebum can’t help but feel slightly bitter about remembering.

 

“no, of course i haven’t just woken up-” yugyeom lies, throwing jaebum a look and jaebum allows himself to smirk and roll his eyes. 

 

yugyeom’s smug expression falls off his face as he continues listening, “shit, “ he says before jumping up and frantically running around the room, pulling clothes out of  _ jaebum’s  _ closet and throwing them on in a hurry, “i’m on my way now, hyung!-” yugyeom winces and even jaebum can hear jinyoung’s disapproving tone down the phone now, “i know, i’m sorry i forgot, okay. jaebum-ah’s back was bothering him this morning- no he’s okay now- yes i’m leaving. okay, okay, bye.” 

 

jaebum raises his eyebrow and yugyeom has the decency to look ashamed. 

 

“i might have used you as a scapegoat to get jinyoung-hyung off my back,” yugyeom shoves a hat over his bed head, “but i completely forgot we had a meeting with the management about our choreography for our next comeback, so i had to do what i had to do. you know hyung would have killed me and you don’t want me dead, right babe?” he bats his eyelashes and jaebum decides to ignore the pet name, pursing his lips teasingly at the other. 

 

“don’t pout, you big baby,” yugyeom says, looking too fond to be strictly platonic, not that jaebum is gonna let himself think about that fact. 

 

checking his phone again and cursing under his breath, yugyeom begins to scramble for the door. 

 

“yugyeom! hurry your ass up, we had to be at the studio like five minutes ago.” mark’s yelling loud enough that he might as well be in the room with them. jaebum’s hit with the realisation that he’s probably gonna be alone today, which fills him with both relief and fear. a day alone with nothing but his existential dread, but at least he won’t have to be putting on an act for the rest of the members. 

 

yugyeom pauses just as he’s about to run through the door, turning on his heel to look at jaebum, concern in his eyes, “are you sure you feel okay, jaebummie? if you’re still sore or you don’t want to be alone i’m sure the hyungs won’t mind too much if i stay back, especially if it’s for you.” 

 

jaebum blinks, unsure how to react and confused as to why yugyeom’s making his achy back into such a big deal, “i’m fine, go and out dance everyone and don’t worry about me.” 

 

“i’m always worrying about you,” yugyeom smiles softly and jaebum feels a blush spreading across his cheeks, taken aback by how intimate the younger boy’s smile feels. 

 

“yugyeom-ah!” mark is screaming now and yugyeom whinces. 

 

“see you later, babe,” yugyeom calls before he runs out the door. 

 

jaebum sits on the bed, feeling uncertain and slightly overwhelmed, he can hear mark talking and yugyeom laughing before the slamming of the front door echoes in the apartment and silence descends. 

 

he falls back onto the bed and just breathes. even though he just woke up, he feels like he could sleep for another two days and still not be recovered from what he just went through. 

 

_ look at the bright side _ , he thinks to himself as he closes his eyes,  _ at least you’re not a blond anymore _ . 

 

he snorts. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


eventually he manages to push the events of this morning to the back of his mind, hopefully to a place where he’ll never have to think about what happened ever again. he’s drawn out of the safety of his room by his own hunger, comforted in the knowledge that yes, okay he might be in an alternative universe but at least he’s alone right now and doesn’t have to pretend to be something he’s not. 

 

he waddles slowly through the apartment, his back still stinging with pain at every movement and he furrows his brows in annoyance. jaebum wonders what maknae!jaebum did right before they switched bodies, of course he'd have the luck to be transported into a body that has a pulled muscle or something. 

 

he turns into where he vaguely remembers the kitchen being with the plans of making himself some toast to ease his hunger when he spots a figure sitting at the table and he screams. 

 

jackson's head snaps up at the sound of jaebum yelling and he laughs, “morning, jaebum-ah!” 

 

jaebum clutches his chest and his back, the sudden movement of his jump making it twinge in discomfort, “jackson..ngh-hyung!” 

 

he barely catches himself but it doesn't seem like Jackson noticed his almost slip up, eyes glued to where jaebum's still rubbing at his hurting spine.

 

“are you hurting, jaebummie?,” jackson asks, already making his way over. presumably to fuss over him like yugyeom has this morning.

 

jaebum shrugs, “a little.” 

 

“let me get your meds,” jaebum's eyebrows shoot up his head, allowing himself to be lead to the table and help sat down without any complaint, too lost in his confusion.

 

_ meds? _ why does he need meds? 

 

jackson rummages through a cabinet and comes back to jaebum holding two pills in one hand and a glass in the other. 

 

“what are those for?” jaebum finds himself asking, curiosity and concern over powering his logic. 

 

jackson frowns harder, “your meds? the ones you've been taking for months now.” 

 

jaebum knows he should just leave it at that but the need to satisfy his questions has him asking, “yeah, but why? what do they do?” 

 

jackson slowly puts the pills and glass onto the table, taking a seat in front of jaebum and placing a gentle hand onto his knee, “jaebum, are you okay?” 

 

jaebum freezes. 

 

he's been asked this question a dozen times since he's woken up here but this is the first time that jaebum feels a crack in his facade. the need to spill everything– to let all of his thoughts and feelings out no matter the consequences or how crazy he would sound if he were to even try and begin to explain the situation– is so overwhelming that he chokes up as a weight begins to press down on his chest.

 

he opens his mouth to reassure jackson that he was only messing with him, then he would have downed the pills and locked everything back up again, but all that comes out of jaebum's mouth is a strangled sound as he tries to breathe in. 

 

“jaebummie?” he hears jackson's voice. he sounds scared and jaebum wants to reach out and comfort him, tell him everything's fine, but he  _ can't _ . 

 

he can't even breathe and it  _ hurts _ , everything hurts. his back, his eyes from where he's trying to will his tears away, the palms of his hands as he digs his fingernails into them. he's  _ afraid. _

 

“ _ hyung _ –”

 

the word sounds like it was dragged out from him, torn from his chest and he doesn't even know who he's calling out to because no one here is his hyung. no one here even understand what's happening inside his head. he's alone. 

 

jaebum feels himself being pulled out of his chair and into someone's arms, an embrace that's so tight, so solid, that jaebum can't help but to feel comforted by it. unknown to him, jaebum has started to make these awful half choking/half sobbing sounds and he clings onto jackson tightly– believing fully that if he lets go he might just fall into pieces. 

 

as jaebum starts to come back to himself, he can distantly hear jackson's voice chanting in his ear “ _ hyung's here, it's okay. let it out, jaebummie. you're okay _ .” he's rocking them both, the movement soothing and he eventually starts to feel himself calm down, jackson's reassurances, so like his own jackson, bringing him a sense of grounding and comfort that allows him to open his eyes. 

 

“hyung,” jaebum says, not even stuttering over the honorific this time, “i have something i need to tell you.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to yasmin for editing this for me ily and i hope you guys like this. 
> 
> follow me on twitter @jaebunisbald where you can harass me to update or on tumblr @jaebald where you can harass me to actually use that site again


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo it didnt take me like 17 months to upload a new chapter and im actually kinda happy with this one! sorry for leaving you all on a cliff hanger in the last chapter, that was kinda mean of me lmaoooo 
> 
> thank u @jitterbug (honeyandcream on ao3 go read their bonnie and clyde au rn) for helping me with this chapter i really appreciate it!!!! and yasmin, as always, for listening to my rambles and complaints. and also the discord chat bc just being in it helped me to be more inspired yall are all great and if i had the brain power i would tag you all <333

they're sitting at the kitchen table and the silence between them hangs heavy. after his little outburst jaebum quickly downed the pills without compliant, assuming that the body would be used to them if it's been taking them for months, and urged jackson to sit down. 

 

then he spilled it all. 

 

everything. 

 

he barely stopped to breathe in-between sentences, looking determinedly at his hands knowing that if he were to catch jackson's eye and find any sort of judgment there he'd stop and lose his newly found courage immediately. he only finds the confidence to look up once he finishes retelling the last few days, from the moment he woke up  _ here _ , to the universe he left behind, to this very moment. 

 

jackson's face is completely blank when jaebum finally looks him in the eye. 

 

“... this isn't like a hidden camera or something, right?” jackson finally says, looking around warily like he's gonna see cameraman pop out from inside the fridge and the rest of the members charge into the room laughing because  _ we got you bro!!! _

 

jaebum has a feeling that that was probably what he looked like yesterday when he woke up here. 

 

“no, i– it isn't, i swear,” jaebum pleads, he's not sure what he's gonna do if jackson decides not to believe him. 

 

jackson stares at him long and hard, eyes dancing around his face like he thinks something in his expression is going to give him the answer to whether jaebum's telling the truth or not. 

 

he must find something that does, because he says, “okay, i believe you “ 

 

“please, i'm telling the trut– wait what?”

 

jaebum stares at jackson in disbelief, searching his face to see if he can find any trace of a lie- maybe he's just humouring him? waiting for him to let his guard down so he can get him locked up somewhere for being crazy and delusional. jaebum wouldn't blame him if that's how jackson is thinking. 

 

jaebum stops those thoughts from going any further because this is  _ jackson wang _ he's talking to, he's pretty sure that jackson has never had an intentionally mean thought in his life. and jaebum recognizes the genuine sincerity and seriousness in the other's expression. 

 

"i  _ believe _ you," jackson repeats.

 

tears well up in his eyes and threaten to spill over, as a sense of relief washes over him so strong that he almost feels breathless with it. jackson  _ believes _ him. 

 

jaebum's not  _ alone _ , anymore.

 

even though he's certain that jackson really does believe his story he's curiosity is so strong that he can't stop himself from asking, "why? why do you believe me? anyone else would think i'm insane." 

 

jackson pauses for a moment, mulling over jaebum's question. "honestly, as crazy as it seems, your story kind of makes sense. contrary to popular belief i  _ do _ notice the things that happen around me and one of those things has been how… off you've been acting since promotions ended."

 

jaebum can't say he's really surprised that jackson noticed how strange he's been acting, he's actually more surprised that no one else has because he's pretty sure he's not doing a convincing job of playing the role of maknae!jaebum. 

 

"i actually brought it up with bambam," jackson continues, "because i was worried and your weren't acting like yourself but he told me that you were probably just going through one of your 'bad days'." his eyebrows furrow and he frowns- almost like he's talking to himself now, "but, i know what you're like on those days and this was completely different. the jaebum i know would never have let himself miss out on a recording, would have fought tooth and nail no matter how hard he was struggling. i can't think of anything that would stop you from performing," he pauses and the corner of jackson's lips turn up, "other than travelling dimensions i guess, which is a pretty valid reason if you tell me."

 

"actually, i have a question. what  _ exactly  _ do you mean by 'bad days', and why does this jaebum have to take meds? has it got something to do with the fact that this body feels like it's been run over by a bus any time i do something even remotely active."

 

jackson gets a very sad look in his eyes and jaebum suddenly wishes he had never mentioned anything at all. 

 

"is that what it feels like all the time?" jackson asks softly, the tone of his voice is so upset that jaebum feels like he needs to apologise- for what? he hasn't got a clue. 

 

confused and slightly alarmed, jaebum nods, "yeah. my back was killing me this morning, i could barely bend over." 

 

jackson sighs deeply, expression heavy, "yo– i mean our jaebum, he–" he stops, clearly collecting his thoughts and starts again. "jaebum suffered a pretty intense back injury early last year, he was out of commission for the majority of it. these promotions were actually the first he's participated in since the injury."

 

jaebum feels a sense of empathy rising in him for not only jackson, who is clearly still troubled by this, but also his alternate self. if they are anything alike, jaebum can only imagine the sort of devastation and guilt that would be plaguing him if he was put out of promotions for that long. the words alone bring up memories of jaebum's own back injury in 2015, and the struggle it was to not only recover physically from it but also mentally. 

 

jaebum doesn't like to think about the lonely and painful weeks of lying in his bed in an empty dorm, unable to really do anything for himself but think about how the rest of his members had to continue on a tour with their leader. 

 

he's knocked out of his train of thought as jackson begins to talk again, "the pills you took this morning, one is a pain reliever, jaebum usually refuses to take it no matter how bad the pain gets but he's gotten better at it lately," jackson says fondly, shaking his head. "the others," he hesitates for a moment, biting his lip, "they're antidepressants.”

 

jaebum blinks. 

 

seems like him and maknae!jaebum do have a lot in common, despite the age difference. 

 

jackson doesn't look like he going to elaborate any further and jaebum doesn't really need him to. he can connect the dots well enough on his own. jackson changes the subject

 

"our jaebummie is probably having a field day in your universe, bossing everyone around and talking down to them." again, jackson looks incredibly fond and almost wistful, like he's missing  _ that _ jaebum even though he's only just realised he's gone. "but how are  _ you _ coping jaebum-a—” he stops himself, before grinning, "should i be calling you jaebum-hyung now? you  _ are  _ older than me where you're from, right? unless you have the same birthday as our jaebummie, which means i refuse to call you hyung. what year were you born, jaebum-ah?"

 

jaebum, touched by how much jackson  _ cares _ , feels the tears in his eyes threaten to spill over. the idea of jackson not only loving  _ this _ version of jaebum so much that he can feel just from the time of his voice alone, but also any version of jaebum, makes him more emotional than he'd like to admit. he's suddenly very and intensely grateful to have jackson wang in his life– a feeling he's gotten very used to over the last couple of years but still hits him like a truck every time.

 

jackson looks alarmed at the tears, "hey, why are you crying-" he rushed to get up from his seat and crowds against jaebum, holding him tightly, "i'll call you hyung, i promise! just please stop crying, i can't take a crying jaebum."

 

before he can stop himself, jaebum starts giggling, the tears now running down his face. after a beat jackson joins in too, swaying them both in a slightly awkward embrace, if only because jackson is crouching beside jaebum who's still sitting in his seat. 

 

a weight that had placed itself on jaebum's chest the second he woke up in this strange universe, that got heavier and more suffocating the longer he stayed, was slowly starting to ease and the more he laughed with jackson the lighter he felt. in a moment of complete weakness and overwhelming feeling jaebum blurts out, "sseun-ah, i really love you." 

 

jackson flushes, probably extremely unused to such affectionate words coming from him- jaebum know if he had said this to  _ his _ jackson he would be screaming about it for the rest of eternity. jackson pulls back, looking down at jaebum, "you really  _ are _ my hyung, huh? you have the  _ hyung _ voice and everything." 

 

"shut up," jaebum blushes fiercely and tried to pull away, already regretting his lapses in emotion.

 

jackson just pulls him closer, whining, "nooo, don't go," he squeezes tightly, "i love you too, hyung. my little jaebummie-hyung." 

 

feigning reluctance, jaebum closes his eyes and lets himself be held. for a moment he can almost pretend that whatever mess he's currently in isn't even happening, and it's just another day of him and jackson being too sappy. the thought makes him smile. 

  
  
  
  
  


the rest of the day continues on like that, jackson spends the day with jaebum in the apartment, asking silly questions about jaebum's universe that jaebum tries his best to answer:

 

( _ "okay so who's hotter, me or the other jackson?" _

 

_ "jackson…" _

 

_ "c'mon hyung! i gotta know." _

 

_ "you're both practically the same." _

 

_ "why are you so boring, jaebum-hyung." _ ) 

 

it feels good to finally be able to relax, no longer having to put on a show, not having to second-guess every move he makes because he’s scared he’s not playing the role correctly. jaebum is so distracted by just messing around with jackson, allowing himself to enjoy himself and shake off some of the anxiety that has been plaguing him for days, that he forgets to ask him a very important question that has been in the back of his mind and bugging him constantly. 

 

_ yugyeom _ . 

 

jaebum knows he’s being almost ridiculously dense when it comes to this subject, but it’s almost like if he never faces up to the reality then he’ll never have to deal with it. at all. even though that’s kind of impossible when the ‘reality’ lives with him and seems set on sleeping in the same bed as him. he knows once its confirmed to him, when someone has finally said the words out loud, he’ll no longer be able to just ignore it. and jaebum would rather avoid that issue for as long as possible. 

 

by the time jaebum finally works up the courage to bring the topic up the day’s almost over, and the two of them have spent most of the day watching youtube videos and talking shit in his room. yugyeom and mark could be home any minute now, so jaebum knows that his time is probably fleeting and if he waits any longer then he’ll never get a chance to. plus it’s better to hear it now from jackson, where he won’t have to conceal his reaction, than the man himself. 

 

jaebum clears his throat, rolling onto his side and pushing the laptop away from him. he sees jackson glance up from the other side of his bed and jaebum swallows. 

 

“jackso-” 

 

“hyung, i actually have something i need to tell you,” jackson interrupts him, looking slightly guilty. 

 

jaebum sighs, confidence gone but he gestures for jackson to go on. he wouldn’t be a very good hyung if he complained about jackson interrupting him when the other has already done so much for him in the last couple of hours alone. more than he probably even understands. 

 

jackson hesitates for a moment, looking nervous, which also makes jaebum nervous. what could he possibly be nervous about  _ now _ considering how well jackson has dealt with the whole situation so far. 

 

“i have to go to china tomorrow morning and i won’t be back for at least two weeks.” 

 

oh, yep. that explains that.

 

the familiar dread, that jaebum’s been mostly free from since revealing the truth to jackson, begins to slowly build again. well, it was fun while it lasted. 

 

jackson must see the despair growing on jaebum’s face because he rushed to hug him close, petting his hair. it’s clearly an instinctual reaction to jackson, who’s apparently in full  _ hyung  _ mode now and instead of it making jaebum feel uncomfortable and out of place, he actually soaks up the comfort, letting himself be held. 

 

“i’m sorry, jaebum-ah,” jackson’s voice filled with so much sincerity that jaebum barely even notices the drop of honorifics, “this must be so hard for you, i can’t imagine how helpless you probably feel right now.”

 

jaebum doesn’t say anything, he just clutches harder onto jackson’s shirt feeling like if he lets go he’ll drift away. 

 

“anytime you feel overwhelmed, or if you want someone to talk to, call me,” jackson says. “ _ anytime _ , jaebum-ah.” 

 

“i will,” jaebum whispers, voice nearly lost in jackson’s shirt. “hyung,” he adds, because it feels right. 

 

jackson squeezes him close, a laugh rumbling in his chest, “you’re so cute, hyung.” 

 

jaebum closes his eyes; he feels like everything might be okay, with jackson by his side. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


yugyeom and mark come back sometime close to midnight. jaebum knows this because he hears the door opening and closing, the sound of the two of them giggling filling the apartment. jaebum closes the video he was watching on his phone, one of GOT7’s earlier comeback shows that jaebum had started watching out of morbid curiosity but got sucked into because of how interesting it was to watch how  _ this _ world’s GOT7 interacted compared to his own. he contemplates going out to greet the other two. jackson only left about an hour ago but he’s feeling kind of lonely again. 

 

he remembers what jackson had said to him just before he left, that telling the others shouldn’t be a main priority right now ( _ “yugyeom’s a sensitive boy, i’m not sure how well he’d react if he found out our jaebummie had been transported to some over universe. i don’t think his soft lil heart could take the worry” _ ). jackson had suggested that he just play along for now and once he feels more settled they could think about telling all the members. jaebum still feels the same panic rising in him at the thought of staying here for any sort of prolonged time and would rather not think about any type of plan other than going  _ home _ . though he did agree that it would be more trouble than good to try and convince everyone else of who he really is. he can’t imagine that conversation would be as easy as the one he had with jackson. 

 

jaebum feels kinda silly for being so sad about jackson leaving, but he can’t help but feel like when things were starting to finally look up here, the world needed to remind him that  _ no _ you’re still trapped in an unfamiliar situation and  _ yes _ you do have to navigate it alone. it’s not like jackson is unreachable now, sure it would have been nice for him to only be a subway ride away, but it is the modern world and phones plus the internet do exist. it still would have been nice to have jackson around though, and jaebum can’t help but sulk over that. and now he needs to decide whether or not he’s brave enough to leave his room and resume the image of maknae!jaebum again.

 

the decision of whether or not to go out and face mark and yugyeom is taken from him when he hears his door swinging open and there yugyeom is, standing in the doorway. 

 

the sight of him strikes fear in jaebum’s heart. not because yugyeom is particularly scary or fear inducing; if anything he looks kinda cute right now, his pink hair tied loosely on the top of his head, cheeks flushed, clearly fresh from a shower- but no, it’s not yugyeom himself that has panic rushing through his veins, but rather, what he reminds him of. 

 

_ jaebum never asked jackson about their relationship. _

 

yugyeom, completely oblivious to jaebum’s inner conflict, struts right into the room like he owns it, kicking the door shut behind him. he throws his jacket onto the chair beside the desk in the corner of the room and flops onto the bed, staring upside down at jaebum, pink locks of hair falling into his eyes. “jaebummie, babe. i’m so tired~”

 

jaebum gulps. he pulls the covers up around his shoulders like a victorian wife trying to conceal her modesty, completely at a loss on how to respond to the younger. 

 

god, why did he and jackson waste so much time watching cat videos and making fun of mark during his trainee days today (there is surprising a lot of overlap when it comes to  _ his _ mark and this world’s mark, mostly involving his fondness for throwing objects in moments of rage), when he could have been asking  _ real  _ questions- such as how he should react and respond to yugyeom? because he doesn’t have a single clue. 

 

he takes a deep breath and tries to act naturally. their dynamic might be a little different now because of the whole age swap and different alternative versions of themselves things, but truly how different could things really be? 

 

“stop whining, you baby,” jaebum finally decides on. some friendly banter, can’t go wrong with that. 

 

yugyeom pouts up at him, also a very normal yugyeom reaction-  _ so good so far, jaebum, you’re doing well _ . he squirms until he’s on his stomach, resting his head on his hands, one of his elbows in between jaebum’s legs which are safely tucked under the blankets. “no fair, you’ve been sleeping in bed all day and i’ve been out there actually  _ working _ .”

 

jaebum lets himself relax a bit as he smirks teasingly, this easy back and forth familiar to him, “you were the one who told me to rest, hyung’s back  _ was  _ sore this morning.” 

 

the second the worlds come out of jaebum’s mouth his whole body freezes, mind going blank.  _ fuck, shit. what has he done?  _ there’s no way he can explain himself out of this, calling himself hyung in this context is so weird that jaebum can’t even think of one excuse he could use to explain it away. fuck, why did he let himself get comfortable, wasn’t he just talking about  _ not  _ exposing himself to yugyeom earlier. 

 

before he can even think to open his mouth and begin babbling incoherently, yugyeom speaks up instead. 

 

“ _ hyung’s  _ back is sore, huh?” the tone of yugyeom’s voice is … weird, jaebum’s not sure if he likes where this is going. “if your back is so sore maybe i should message it for you, jaebummie- _ hyung? _ be a good little  dongsaeng for you.” 

 

still in completely shock, jaebum’s eyes only snap down to yugyeom when he feels a hand on his covered legs. the look in yugyeom’s eyes is dark and, dare he say it,  _ sultry _ . jaebum, never in his life, has experienced yugyeom sending  _ this  _ look his way. 

 

oh god. 

 

do maknae!jaebum and yugyeom have weird hyung kink sex? is this a thing that actually happens in this universe. what is happening.

 

“um… no thank you?” jaebum squeaks out, wide eyed, “my back’s actually still a little sore, i don’t think i can handle any… uh, rubbing tonight.” or fucking, he leaves unsaid. he hopes by pulling the injury card yugyeom won’t notice how weird his…  _ boyfriend? (are they boyfriends, or just… kinky sex buddies? jaebum’s not sure if he wants to know) _ is acting to the mere suggesting of having sex. 

 

instantly, the mood changes and suddenly sweet and attentive yugyeom is back, much to jaebum’s relief, as he crawls up the bed to gently rub jaebum’s cheek. 

 

“poor baby,” yugyeom coos, frowning as he cuddles up close to him, “i hope you rested a lot today.” 

 

jaebum, relieved that the weird sexual tension has finally left the room, lets yugyeom fuss over him without much of a reaction. yugyeom kicks off the sweats he’s wearing, wiggling until he’s under the covers as well, pressing up close to jaebum like he’s trying to attach himself permanently to his side. 

 

“i did,” jaebum answers, reminding himself that he needs to play along for yugyeom’s sake. so he lets his arm fall over the younger’s waist, hand resting where  _ his  _ yugyeom’s dandelion tattoo would be. the reminder causes homesickness to settle back in his chest and he tries his best to push it down and ignore it. 

 

yugyeom blinks sleepily at him, fingers reaching over to brush away some of the freshly dyed strands of hair off of his forehead, “i really like your hair like this, jaebummie,” he whispers, like it's a secret. 

 

“thanks,” jaebum blushes, the intimacy of the situation making him want to squirm, “i like your hair too, yugyeom-ah,” he whispers back, for the lack of any other response. 

 

yugyeom smiles, small and fond, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “i love you.” 

 

jaebum blinks, taken aback by the sudden confession. then he does what he feels like maknae!jaebum might have done in this situation. 

 

yugyeom makes a soft noise in the back of his throat when their lips touch, before he melts into it, one of his hands trailing up to rest against jaebum’s jaw, his thumb caressing his cheek as their lips move together. the kiss stays chaste, sweet, like the moment. 

 

it makes jaebum feel like an intruder. 

 

when they part, yugyeom’s cheeks are flushed with pink and he bites his lip, looking up at jaebum through his lashes. 

 

jaebum squeezes his hand around yugyeom’s waist and tries to ignore the fact that it’s shaking. “i love you too,” he says.

 

and he does, just not in the way that he’s sure maknae!jaebum loves him. the thought makes him swallow roughly. 

 

yugyeom looks shy but pleased and he snuggles in closer, mumbling a goodnight into jaebum’s snoop dogg shirt. 

 

and if jaebum takes a little while longer to fall asleep, as he allows himself a few silent tears and a single plea to wake up back home in the morning, then that’s just for him to know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoy this chapter and i promise the next few will have more of the other members in it! i just didnt want to overwhelm poor jaebum too quickly. 
> 
> a hint for the next chapter: its jjp centered :)
> 
> anyway pls comment it brings me so much joy and i always read them all even tho im horrible and take forever to respond. follow me on twitter @jaebumisbald if you want to seem me create stupid aus and post pics of myself every 7 months or on tumblr @jaebumisbald where i come on every 6 months of scream about bambam

**Author's Note:**

> if yall liked u should mayhaps tell me im v sensitive, next update should come fairly soon so look out for that if you enjoyed kdsjfhds
> 
> follow me on tumblr where i clown jaebum for zero euro an hr @jaebald or on twitter where i have a new furry layout (blame tremmy, we match) @jaebumisbald.


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